Yesterday I lost the first member of my family. My grandpa passed away sometime early Friday morning. I got the phone call on my way to see an Opera in Chicago. Dad came and picked me up. No one really know whats to say or do. I don't even kno what to say or feel. I didn't even get to say good-bye, it was so sudden. Right now, I'm on this huge roller coaster. Sometimes I'm thinking about all the funny things he said and then I'll see a picture of the two of us and he's looking at me with this huge smile. He loved us so much! I miss him so much. ...and then I just break down. I thought at some point I would run out of tears. Tuesday is the showing and I'm really afraid. I don't know if I can see him. I don't think it's sunk in yet that he's not coming back. Once I see him I'll know and it's gonna hurt real bad. I've never been to a funeral and I don't want to see so many people crying. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell people so at least they know, or if I'm supposed to not tell so they don't think I want a sympathy vote. There's no manual for this kind of thing.
Just thought you guys should know. I'm not at school now so I'm going back and forth from Indy to South Bend. I miss you so much!
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